all this samsara

sometimes i can't handle all this worldly shit! it's pretty amazing how many people are out there in this world, all over the place. without seeming trite, it just blows my mind in an almost crippling way. And the sadness that I feel when I reach for the truth that I know is out there, comes in the form of the realization that there are a handful of people out there that I've met, spoken to, "know", that may actually have the foggiest idea of what I'm talking about. And then there is the notion of an entire society that's completely based on it...being wiped out. Somewhere in the middle...everyone else. Literally, everyone else.

Aside: Currently Goodyear Blimp Overhead!

Is it possible that the man who actually has the answers was a prince who went and sat down under a tree? Is it possible that when I close my eyes and breathe, it gets closer? Is it possible that me, a simple man who live in capitalism, who works for a living, who has cats, and a fiance, and a car, and lots of bikes, could possibly, in this lifetime, ever get even slightly closer to what he knows is truly enlightment?

Sometimes...i feel as though I'm not really trying hard enough.