Wednesday, November 29, 2006

down the well

I've always been slightly amazed at how many functionally insane people there are out there in the world. And I'm not talking about the folks that "just aren't like me" cause that's like 98% of the rest of the world. And that's fine, 'it takes all kinds'. No, I'm talking about the people who have no idea how truly crazy they are, and everyone else knows it. There's the guys trying not to hitch-hike (which is strange enough in the city) but to actually flag down cars for a ride. There's the people who talk to themselves, fall asleep outside businesses. And these people are actually allowed to have bank accounts, cell phones, cars, the more I think about it, the more afraid I am to leave my house.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


as i typed that word I realized it has two different meanings (if you don't count the fact the I may have misspelled it). The way I see it, the only way you're ever really going to accomplish anything is to be deliberate. Everything else that may have happened, didnt' happen, could have happened, it's just in your mind (I often times re-realize that I am in fact a Buddhist and why, in fact, this is so) If you don't do something deliberately, it is just not going to happen. Take, for example, walking up the stairs, this may be a stupid example, and may touch of something metaphysical; but if do not walk up the stairs, I will not walk up the stairs, even though I know that I could, I know what it would be like, and and know what the consequences will be.
yes i realize also that this is a convoluted example, but I wanted a precursor to what I'm actually talking about, what we're all always talking I know if these posts that I always try to keep to the abstract, no specific names, no specific examples, and I like that...but I guess what I'm really getting at is that there will remain a connection between people that will eventually no longer be deliberate. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, when there is no communication, there is no "deliberate", but there is still something...
memory? grasping? history? there is something. but it is different to each of us. it is no longer something that is happening, it is something that is. and when does it become deliberate again? when is it something, when does it actualize? within the constancy of this world with email, phone, textmessage, what even constitutes action? What is deliberate and what is residual? What simply does not exist for one when it is obvious to another. How can we go back...we must move forward and we must be deliberate.

Thursday, November 02, 2006



I was sitting around passing time, thinking of something to blog about cause this is one of the most boringest days I can remember. So I was doing the whole "next blog" "next blog thing. (look up and to your right). and I came across this one. (incidentally, half the blogs that you linke to are in a different language, so some of them may be interesting too, but I don't read arabic, or german, or anything but English really {which is also a misnomer, and a bit of an insult to the English so lets just say I speak and read 'merican.}) But yeah, I came across this one, and my days suddenly felt even more...conservative? I'm not sure really how to put it, but I guess in this day and age you can instantly make yourself famous, if you want to. So, nice blog miss Grace Trisha Tng, whoever the hell you are. It looks like you're pretty much making a go of it, having fun, taking' lots of pictures, and generally living it up. I can dig it, can you?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

halloween, the public, and capitalism

"its the most wonderful time of the..." wait that's christmas. the trick or treat thing is a whole different story. its a clever holiday isnt' it? teenage mothers pushing strollers house to house with a pillow case in hand collecting candy from the working class. kids whose costume is an oversized hoodie and a grocery bag. It's great! The only thing worse then a made up holiday, is a made up holiday that gets bastardized into a "gimme some free shit" freeforall. But with all the morons that make up "the public" its no wonder I'm even able to leave my house half the time, let alone on a day like halloween. Sure there's the folks that painstakingly create their handmade costumes, get their monster mash on at late night parties, and really get into the spirit. but they're few and far between. And honestly...I'm beginning to lose faith. Maybe I'm old, maybe I don't get out enough, or out to the right places, where the spirit is right and the public actually has an IQ over 85. Is that asking too much? Perhaps I'm an elitist (and actually I know I probably am) Maybe none of this has anything to do with Halloween. In fact now I kinda feel bad about taking it out on the holiday in the first place. Perhaps the public is just best left alone...its just that...they're...everywhere!